Saturday, February 7, 2009

The Art of Seduction with Dave


I rarely post videos from other online culinarians, but once in a while I see something so brilliant, so perfectly done, I feel I have to share it with the rest of you. This Valentines Day video is from "Cookin' with Dave," starring Dave, who according to his apron is the "World's Greatest Chef."

I highly recommend watching the entire 13 minute clip several times to make sure you didn’t miss anything, but in case you just can't find the time, forward to about the 7 minute mark. That's when his date arrives and the magic truly begins.

Dave not only shows you how to make a gourmet steak dinner for two, he also gives lots of great pointers on making your Valentine feel very special. This is a 13-minute Tour de Force that is sure to inspire. Enjoy!


Disclaimer: If this is your first visit to Food Wishes, please know that this is meant as satire, and we really aren't a bunch of jerks. I'm sure Dave is a great guy - and many, many men will use this video to help close the deal.



57 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my, poor Dave. The nodding camera wasn't a good idea, but neither was serving a potato still wrapped in foil, with 1/4 lb butter, bacon, and crumbled sliced cheese. Not pretty! Watching him fix this for his off screen "honey," made me feel sorry for her, but then, from the shot of her plate, I noticed she hadn't eaten anything, but he was nearly done. Smart gal to stay busy holding onto that camera. Filming Dave's Art of Seduction was enough to make her lose her appetite. She didn't even want the cheesecake.

Play it forward, and this is that five-year old kid's grown-up version of a cooking demonstration video.

Wei Jun said...

That was weird. And creepy. Lol. How 'bout you show us how to make the perfect ribeye! =D

Jeremy said...

He kind of sounds drunk

Dawn's Recipes / The Baby Blog said...

Hahaha! There are so many things wrong with that video! He's not much for presentation, is he?

Is that guy really from the south? Sometimes he seems to lose his accent. If he is, though, where in the south is he that he claims it's too cold to cook on the grill? I live in Massachusetts. I grill all year long. I have to say, though, if you are going to pan fry a steak, you can't go wrong with onions and butter.

Pam said...

GAK! This is worse than the kid who wants to be a chef TV star. I just couldn't watch it all.

However, I did notice he's wearing a wedding ring and expecting a "date" ...what's up with that?

jeff said...

"cause maa lady likes her steak well done."



Tour de Force is an understatement, do you think they give those aprons to just anyone?

It takes a big man to put his ego aside like you do Chef John. There are not many vids worth watching more than once, but this is even if just to learn the salad technique. Watching him close the deal at the end just gilded the lilly.



Jeff

Basia said...

Thank you, Chef!

I started laughing when the World's Greatest Chef held up the store-bought cheesecake, lost it when chopped onions were the second choice to onion powder, and went blind with the "fireplace DVD" suggestion! My hubby doesn't cook at all, but he just leaped from frog to Prince!!

Dave said...

I'm reminded of the classic Christopher Walken SNL skit--The Continental: http://video.yahoo.com/watch/148995/951695

kingaloha said...

That was fantastic. Thanks Chef John!

Towards the end I was anticipating a tour of how he had decorated the pit dug in his basement. Next video, I guess...

Anonymous said...

This is a true classic! Until now, my favorite was the creepy guy bbq-ing bologna in the snow.

Michael said...

Chef,

While this was funny, I can't help but wonder if there are any other online chef's you like? I have tried to find other online chef's to follow but I can't seem to find any that inspire me to actually make the dish like your blog does. Do you have any recommendations?

Chef John said...

No, I'm the only one.

Michael said...

Hmmph!!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely horrifying.

Anonymous said...

You mean "The one and only!"

Ms Dale said...

My favourite part was when Chef Dave didn't have any onion powder so he had to "settle" for real onion cooked with his steak. Though advising the viewer about the variety of cheese choices while tearing plastic cheese sheets was a close second.

Thanks Chef John - just makes us appreciate you that much more :-)

Jen said...

LOL! I love watching Dave. I looooove his voice. It just reeks of saturated fats. As far as practical, simple "down home" style cooking, he actually has a few good pointers in his videos. Of course, he's no Chef John. :P

I also think Food Commander is hilarious.

Catherine said...

I swear that was American Cheese

Anonymous said...

I swear that was American Cheese

Anonymous said...

How charming.

Anonymous said...

give him a break guys...

it's horrid...

B movie :D
all it needed was a budget pornless porn at the end

Susannah said...

Gosh his date is so lucky. All he cared about was pleasing her. I can't believe you are all laughing at him! Obviously none of you have ever been married to a son of a bitch and lived in a single wide trailer and spent valentine's day all alone with a can of cream of mushroom soup and a bag of noodles while the bastard was out bowling with his friends! Well neither have I thank God but I would love to have Dave cook dinner for me! I just wish he'd put another log on that dvd.

Dan said...

Classy stuff!
Hahaha!
Looked like he was looking out for his date's health too.

PrimeBrit said...

Cooking 101

1. Get an oven
2. Make sure top is level, ( or your butter will slide to the back!)

That's the funniest thing I have seen in a long time and I hope Dave knows it's funny! I don't want to poke fun at anyone but it was hilarious! I didn't know onion added so much to steak?

You ROCK Chef!

Anonymous said...

Bwahahaha...It's like the SNL skit "the continental" except done to a cheesy cooking video...can't...stop..laughing...hahaha!!

Anonymous said...

Awww. I like Cooking with Dave. I WILL concede that this is probably his worst video to date, but he has some good stuff. And yes, often cheesy, never fancy - but it looks like pretty good food 95% of the time. He's from South Carolina, btw. He's certainly entertaining, and I'm sure that he realizes that this is pretty funny.

Chef John said...

Yes, I'm sure he did this tongue in cheek. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm laughing with him, not at him!

Jeff said...

More cowbell.

Anonymous said...

The video was definitely entertaining to watch. The chef's attempt to cook a delicious and romantic dinner for his significant other is also very endearing. He gets brownie points for trying.

Dan said...

Oh I guarantee the last part was a joke, I've seen his other videos. Plus, you can hear the laugh, which belongs to his son I believe :P

Anonymous said...

I leave unto the folks who bicker and complain about the videos we watch that were discussed in this post, (CHEF Dave w. Valentines Day Dinner & BBQ Pit Boys w. BBQ Baloney) "WHERE ARE YOUR VIDEOS IGNORANT RANTERS OF THE WEB???????????? If you don't have any, or cannot come up with a decent recipe to help or pay it forward, then shut your pie hole! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE AND NOTHING TO SAY, PERIOD!

Everyone can be a critic but your self worth = zero when you have nothing to back it up with. Criticize yourself before opening your mouth.

Thank you Chef John for sharing these great videos along with your own everyday. I look forward to the blog daily.

"CHECK UR SELF Before you Wreck Ur Self U Ignorant Posters."

littlemissy said...

awww guys...
stop laughing at him

He really tried for his date
I'm sure his efforts he put into his food was appreciated by some people

I don't think chef john's intention was for Dave to be humiliated and laughed upon.

You really ought to be ashamed of yourselves, even going to the extent of thanking John.

I am terribly shocked and horrified at the behavior of those that have insulted Dave.

Anonymous said...

Well...at least he removed the cellophane from the processed cheese slice and didn't roll it up with bologna to make 'spirals'. The quarter stick of butter in the potato was 'interesting'.

I wonder if I was the only one here thinking at the end of the vid that he was gonna pull out a chainsaw...?

So Chef John--do you watch any Food network shows that are less creepy / wierd?

Anonymous said...

I love dave's videos. He's obviously not a culinary expert, but he has some good videos for people who don't know how to cook. I'll admit I cringed at him crumbling the kraft singles over his salad and potato, but that's the way he likes it! The part with his "date" was hilarious, and it was supposed to be!

Anonymous said...

oh my god. poor guy... i feel sorry for him. he spent that day alone. and in the end you could hear a man laughing.............

Scott said...

for anyone that is interested, Dave has his own website and DVD available.

http://www.davecancook.com/

Lucia said...

I tend to follow Dave's videos. While a lot of his dishes are pure cholesterol (and he admits it) I think one can get the idea or the technique and use it somewhere else without the pound of butter.

I guess compared to other internet cooks he is a bit bizarre, but well, i found the whole thing cute, I mean, why not?

And btw AFAIK i think he is married and has a son that appeared on the show (teenager or older, no like Julien).

don't be a hater!

Anonymous said...

Cheese, bacon and unwashed lettuce is a salad. Gross. But I still give him a A for effort.

vinylappeal said...

I can't believe he put processed cheese on a salad. D:

Anonymous said...

cute!

love it.

Chef John said...

i think it was iceburg, which you don't need to wash after you take off the out leaf.

Pyrofish said...

I am so getting one of those fireplace DVD's :-)

You know, outside of people who take the time and effort to learn how to cook, that's the way a lot of people in America cook... they don't know any better. That would be a "fancy" dinner at some people's home. I know many...

BTW, the smoked balogna thing, I sent that vid to my Dad back when you posted it. He did it two weeks later. He said it was great! lol

just saying... said...

My comment: This guy would impress his "date" more if he'd put on Chef John's vol 1 DVD, and really learned how to cook! (my opinion)

For those who want to celebrate this guys guts, and good intentions, have at it. Dave, the (?), has made several "cooking instruction" videos and released them to the world on YouTube. He's fair game for all manner of opinion. You have yours - I have mine, but if you think you should shame people for expressing their opinion, maybe this is "your calling!" Take advantage of the opportunity, like Dave, and make a "How To" video. Put it on You Tube. That one should go over well.

Anonymous said...

HAHA I thought it was very funny!! But then again I am Dave!!

Thanks John!!

Dave

granny said...

What is wrong with a half stick of butter on a baked potato? And I will have sour cream too please.

Chef John said...

BTW, the anonymous comment above IS from Dave. I had a chat with him on Youtube this morning and he was happy to get pub and was glad most of you saw the humor in his efforts. I'm just happy to be the world's second best chef after him!

Anonymous said...

Seriously how many of your women have a husband that truly tries to please you in the kitchen.

Nothing like bitter douchebags....

Minichef said...

HI CHEF, im back!!!

i have a question, what microfone did you use?

Bigfoot said...

Like Dave, I too find that nothing quite sets the mood better than the soft sensuous glow of a room deodorizer candle.

Add a silent woman and it just doesn't get any better.

Chef John said...

logitech

Anonymous said...

I like Dave and his videos - especially the pot pie. But this video reminds me too much of an old Twilight Zone episode "The Lonely" where convict Jack Warden is banished to a live alone on a barren asteroid but someone has pity and smuggles him a female android. A classic.

Anonymous said...

So cute! I love Dave, all the effort he put in is very sweet. He has a great voice and his accent is great. This is funny and cute. My Dad could actually get some cooking pointers from him... :)

Carrie said...

I'm a young woman, and if Dave were to go through all the sweet effort of putting together a meal for me, I would be very charmed.
Too many women crush men's efforts to please them with criticism.

And surely ya'll see the humor in this illustration of the typical all-American male's concept of a great salad, big ole steak, and butter overloaded potato as the perfect meal!

This video is adorable.

Teresa said...

I got you another glass of wine. You better slow down on that wine. That's like the third glass you already had. Mad, wild woman that you are.

LOL Hilarious!

audreyshay said...

lol great. it was a funny video obviously aimed at guys who cant cook extravagantly but want a good meal for a date. not everything has to be fancy, and its the thought that counts, especially the fireplace dvd! as cheesy as that is, i think its a sweet idea for a guy who wants to give a girl a special night, seriously- what girl is gonna forget that? i give it two thumbs up :)
... but i would love to see the guy whos filming, i bet he was cracking up have the time. im pretty sure it was a guy because if it was a girl they wouldve shown her hands while she was eating.

Anonymous said...

It was so funny.
Dave is now my second favorite internet Chef. After Chef John ofcourse.

tucker's mama said...

dave gets an 'A++' for A-ffort, very charming!! that was an 'all american' meal... grew up eating that type of meal, luckily i had a great matabolism. mmm, mmm, mmm makes me hungry... think i'll go in right now and start cook'n!