Choosing Pizza Over Immortality - The Part of Being a Vampire that Really Sucks

This was posted last year, just as vampire mania had started to sweep across America. Since it's Halloween I thought I would re-post it, along with the poll that asked if you'd give up food for immortality.

I think the results are fascinating! I know people love food, but we're talking about immortality. How did you vote?

The original post from 10/9/08 follows:

Those of you still able to afford HBO may be familiar with the new series, True Blood. It's an entertaining tongue-in-cheek, fangs-in-neck series about vampires and their attempt to assimilate into mainstream society. I guess I should state that this is a fictional show, just in case.

I was watching an episode recently and one of the vampires said something that sent a cold chill through my soul. Vampires don't eat food. Everyone knows they have to drink blood to survive, but did you know that they don't eat anything else? Think about it, would the kinky sex, great strength, immortality, and killer dental plan, be enough to give up eating food forever?

So here is a little Halloween poll: If you had to choose between a normal human life, and life as a vampire (able to live forever, but unable to eat and enjoy food), which would you chose?

Which lifestyle would you choose?
	I would stay a human. I know I would die someday, but I really like nachos.
	I would become a vampire and live forever without eating food again. I'm not that great a cook anyway.
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Photo (c) Flickr user *davierae*

And the winner is...you tell me!

Here are the finalists for "The First Ever, Food Wishes Crazy Cooking Caption Contest!" In addition to my brilliant and hilarious entry, I've chosen my five favorite caption entries.

The winner will be announced Thursday, and will have a recipe video named after them!

Please cast your vote for the best caption!
	Cooking was just one of the relaxation techniques Bob learned in anger management.
	"I swear if ONE MORE person complains about hair in their food I'm going to SNAP"!
	THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
	Where is my SHIRT!!!!!!
	In Soviet Russia, mac and cheese eats you!
	This was the first and last time Jeff cooked from scratch.
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The First Annual Food Wishes Super Bowl Menu Super-poll - What are you serving for the big game?

I'm trying to put together an article for my American Foods site on About.com regarding what American's serve during their fabulous Super Bowl parties. I would greatly appreciate your input on what kind of menu you're planning this year. To participate, please leave a comment and be sure to tell me where you are from so I can also determine if there are any regional trends.

For example, I hear that many people are eating crow this year in and around Dallas (Sorry!! But, as a lifelong NY Giants fan I just couldn't resist). Go Giants! By the way, all you fellow AARP members can save your "Brett Favre is gonna kick their asses this week" comments! ;-)

Video Recipe Update:

The Good News: I have just completed my 50th video recipe for About.com. The Bad News: Not all of them have "gone live" yet. So, you should expect a large and steady stream of new, exciting, and delicious videos soon. The fabulous producers and editors at About (Hello Bonnie and Gina!) are working feverishly to prepare these clips for the site.

I have the easy job of filming, editing, and eating. They have the tedious and daunting task of preparing the clips for the web, and creating each webpage where they will reside. Just thought I would take a second to thank the team over there who makes all the clips you see here possible.

Photo credit (c) Sports Illustrated

Testing, 1, 2, Testing

Blogger recently added the feature of uploading video directly into these posts. So I thought I would test it out with an older, low-res, yet still incredibly delicious chicken recipe I previously posted using the standard YouTube embed. I'm curious if there is a big difference in quality. The other obvious advantage is I could post videos that would only be available to visitors of this blog, since I could avoid the need to upload to video sharing sites first, just to get the flash embed code.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, don't feel bad, I'm not that sure either. Anyway, we are basically comparing the two clips. Any and all input is welcome, especially from tech nerds.

Here is the blogger video upload of The "Ultimate" Roast Chicken at same size as the YouTube version:


Here is the regular YouTube flash embed of the same clip:


Here is the blogger video upload of The "Ultimate" Roast Chicken:


Well, so what do you think?

Chicken Parmesan – All you baby cows can relax!

As I said yesterday, this was the winner of our first reader poll used to pick a demo. This demo is dedicated to my niece Brittany. This is her favorite meal, or at least I think it is. Over the years I’ve probably gone out to eat with Brittany maybe 75 times and she has ordered this 73 of those times…the other two occasions we were at Chinese restaurants and I think she still tried to order it. Hopefully, she will try to make this at home after watching this clip. Anyway, I’m sure Brittany is not alone in her love of the Chicken Parm, as it’s probably the most popular non-pasta dish in Italian-American style restaurants. Back in my day, it was of course Veal Parmesan, but eating baby cows fell out of fashion, and the Chicken is now the protein of choice. What’s that? You don’t eat chicken either? Well, then you’ll just have to stay tuned for my amazing Eggplant Parmesan coming soon.

The main problem I have with the version served in most restaurants is that they drown the chicken in so much sauce and cheese, that it ends up being a big soggy chicken/cheese clump. I don’t put any sauce under the chicken cutlets, just a little bit on top, so the breading stays relatively crisp. If you like a lot of sauce, fine, serve it along side when the dish is served. I also actually use some Parmesan cheese! Most versions of this only use mozzarella; I’m going with a delicious mixture of fresh Mozzarella, tangy Provolone and “real” Parmesan. The other little trick you see in the video recipe is how I add some of the grated Parmesan to the breadcrumbs, which adds another layer of flavor. Be sure your oven is well preheated to 450F, we want the cheese to slightly brown and the breading to crisp up before the chicken gets over-cooked, and a nice hot oven is the way to go. The rest of the demo is pretty straight forward, so let’s get to it. Enjoy!



Ingredients:
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
4 cups “Panko” Japanese style bread crumbs
3/4 cup grated parmesan
1/2 cup grated provolone
4 oz fresh mozzarella
salt and pepper to taste
red pepper flakes to taste
olive oil for frying
1/2 cup prepared tomato sauce (high-quality!)
1/4 cup fresh shredded basil, or pesto, or dried Italian herbs of your choice, or omit
*Baked for approximately 15-20 minutes at 450F

And the winner is…Chicken Parmesan!

The viewers have spoken! Tomorrow’s post will be my version of the ubiquitous Chicken Parmesan. It was kind of cool letting you, the readers, decide on what I would demo. But, since I wanted to do the 3-Corn Polenta, this is the last poll I’ll ever have. As we all well know, democracy just doesn’t work! Ok, just kidding, I’m sure you will see the occasional poll posted here on various topics. Anyway, like I said in the original post, this was more of a test of how the polling software works, and much to my surprise it did work and was easy to manage. By the way, I will eventually demo all the other options listed in the poll. So, be sure to tune in tomorrow to see this Italian-American classic done Chef John style.

Here are the "official" results:

I Can't Decide. What Do You Think?

I just ran across some polling software that I thought I would try out this week. Yes, another test! I'm not going to describe the recipes listed on the poll, so don't ask. Just pick the one that sounds the best to you, and click the button (if you feel like it). It's more of a test of the polling software than an experiment in culinary democracy. Thanks for participating. Speaking of polls and voting, in true American political tradition, I will be voting for which ever 2008 candidate’s campaign donates the most to this site. Yes, my vote can, and hopefully will, be bought.

Which recipe would you most enjoy seeing this week? (by the way, you have to vote without any recipe desciptions)
	"No Slice" Potato Gratin
	Romesco Glazed Salmon
	"3 Corn" Polenta
	Chicken Parmesan
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