Sunday, February 1, 2015

Seattle Wins Super Bowl XLIX! The Bones Were Right!

You saw it. I saw it. The whole world saw it. The Seattle Seahawks had Super Bowl XLIX won. All they had to do was give the ball to the best running back in football, and it was over. Two yards, a cloud of dust, and they’re the champs.

But, inexplicably, a pass was called, and defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory. It will undoubtedly go down as the dumbest, most ridiculous, and perplexing coaching decision in the history of sports. So, why did it happen?

Did the Patriots have compromising photos of Pete Carroll, and use them to blackmail him into throwing the game? Or, maybe he's crazy? Is he crazy? Or, did New England somehow tamper with the chicken bones I used? Hey, I wouldn’t put it past them. Unfortunately, we may never know for sure, but what we do know is this; the bones were right, again.

11 comments:

Juan Kulas said...

The person I feel the most sorry for is Lynch. That was _his_ moment which he earned.

Such a humble warrior who is the heart of the team.

If Seattle would have lost because Lynch couldn't get the ball past a couple of yards, so be it!

Scott Barber said...

Never apologize; never explain.

Jason Smith said...

Sorry, CJ.... Time to retire the bones;);).

William DiStefano said...

To hear coach explain it, they threw the pass because they were planning for all 3 attempts on the end zone. A quick slant over the middle (defended by an undrafted rookie) burns only a couple of seconds and if it was incomplete, it stops the clock. That sets up a 3rd down. If they ran at 3rd down and were stopped, they could call time out and then run a 4th down play. So you could look at as the coaching staff taking in consideration every attempt to get into the end zone that they had coming to them.

Or, you could say they didn't trust their running game... I like to think its the former rather than the latter.

In either case, obviously nobody expected an undrafted rookie to break up the pass and intercept.

Alex Moorehead said...

To further iterate on what William DiStefano said: a run play doesn't stop the clock, so at least one of those 4 attempts had to be a pass play to give the hawks enough time to use all 4 plays. I'm not saying it's definitely the right call, but if Lynch is stopped short, then it's incredibly obvious that the next attempt has to be a pass play which makes it much easier to defend against. Carroll decided it would be better to try the pass play, when the Patriots had their run defense on the field. They were lined up with 8 men in the box to defend against the run.

And the run isn't automatic- Lynch this year was 1-for-5 from inside the two yard line.

TheSapidChef said...

they really didnt win though. the bones were wrong...

[ iD: TdX ] said...

Happily, S-hawks lost; Sadly, Pats won...

thisizk8 said...

Maybe you were feeling a little deflated when you threw the bones.

Marei said...

Good thing I bet on MY chicken bones which said the Patriots would win....again! Seahawks? Blech.

SteveBass said...

The bones were totally right on this one. Pete Carrol for MVP! Not to mention, this is not the first time that he's made a donkey-like call in a critical situation. Let's roll the clock back to the National Championship game between USC vs. Texas. It's a critical 4th down play to keep 'SC in the game and who does he NOT give the ball to - Reggie Bush. SC fails to get the 1st down and Texas wins the championship. Ya think that he would have leaned already. Beast master should have got the ball!!

mmh_alumni said...

Dear Chef John,

In the Cyrillic alphabet, the initials for the New England Patriots are Н, И,and П. These letters just leap off the plate, don't they? We simply need to put the bones through an online translator.