Tuesday, February 2, 2016

2016 Super Bowl Prediction Using Chicken Wing Bones

Welcome to this year’s installment of “Get Rich Quick with Chef John,” where you cash in on my mystical method for picking Super Bowl winners, using the lost art of wing bone reading. I know it sounds crazy, but if you think this is some kind of joke, think again. In the 49 years I’ve been doing this, there hasn’t been a single (major) university study proving these results aren’t 100% accurate. Not one single study. 

Sure, we’ve had a couple of recent, very minor “discrepancies,” but instead of wasting time arguing who's at fault, or who lost who’s college fund, I prefer to look toward the future. This year the bones point to a decisive Carolina victory, and while I’ll be personally rooting for Old Man Manning, if you want to win money, you’ll put everything you have on the Panthers. 

I’m just glad the Patriots aren’t in it. They’re shady. Anyway, good luck, and I’ll apologize in advance for any income tax issues that pop up after this windfall. Good luck, and as always, enjoy!

15 comments:

Jacob Achorn said...

CP does also stand for coldplay. I'm a novice chicken bone reader, but that has to be telling us something.

Glenriven said...

I look forward to this every year. And also looking forward to you walking back this prediction and showing how you misread dem bones.

rotunder said...

Hilarious video man! When I saw that 2nd picture I thought you had severely burnt the wings or spray painted them black or something. I had to watch the video first before I realised it was just some kind of filter to highlight "the prediction"... doh

Jeff said...

Geomancy... again? Seriously? Okay, I will allow you this one indiscretion. You've written far too many unbelievably delicious recipes. Unbelievable fortune-telling with chicken bones has to fit in... somehow.

Razors Edge said...

The bones dropped into the shape of a colt.. not sure how you missed that!

jamesp said...

Chef John, Not that I would ever question your ultimate powers when it comes to reading "Dem Bones", but the 5 bones in the center of the plate strangely resemble the head of a Bronco. Maybe Denver has included Kryptonite in their game recipe?

Scion said...

This is the Panther's year. Just be glad their are yummy snacks like this to celebrate your team with .... or wallow in your sorrows with.

Roberto said...

Oops

Jeff said...

um hm

Instant Muffin said...

Am I the only one who noticed the wrong year in the title? :p

Karen Smith said...

Dude, the "P" in the bones meant Payton. As in Manning.

Bob Locke said...

Chef John, I am starting to wonder about your extremely scientific prediction method after last night's game! I'm not sure that I will use you with my bookie! Panthers, and the over...really? It's okay. Everyone can be wrong once in awhile. :-)

Scion said...

Sound of crickets softly chirping by the bone plate . . .

:-)

Bob said...

Super Bowl 50 says that you better get a different Chicken. Yea BRONCOS !!!

beemo said...

I'm confused about bacon Whenever I look in the grocery store I see a dozen things called 'bacon' but they all seem to be 'bacon with x' or 'x-style bacon' and so on. In vain do I look for a pack that just says 'bacon' and nothing else. Chef John, or anyone else who can answer with confidence, what exactly IS plain bacon, and can such a simple thing even be purchased any more? How can I get past all the stupid 'bacon plus x' things and just get plain bacon -- whatever it is? Do I have to make it myself?