Cooking was just one of the relaxation techniques Bob learned in anger management.
Photo © robstephaustralia
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The First Ever, Food Wishes Crazy Cooking Caption Contest!
Simply post a comment with your own hilarious caption for this photo. A winner will be picked Tuesday. Only one caption per player. I will get things started with my entry:
Cooking was just one of the relaxation techniques Bob learned in anger management.
Photo © robstephaustralia
Cooking was just one of the relaxation techniques Bob learned in anger management.
Photo © robstephaustralia
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49 comments:
Chef John, this is so damn scary I don't know when i will be able to mash a pototo again and I haven't even watched the video yet.
Oh, there is no video, you see how bugged out I got.
"I swear if ONE MORE person complains about hair in their food I'm going to SNAP"!
Jeff
"Dammit Ma! You let it burn on the bottom!"
I'm gonna get even with that guy for stealing my NAKED CHEF idea!!!
Must finish this whitening paste! Then I'll finally be rid of this ghastly tan on my forearms!
Bob anticipating the pain of his weekly body waxing, melts the wax.
granny, relax, there is no video, and it's mac and cheese.
Scott from Boston's funny online comments were in stark contrast to his tortured kitchen style.
"I watched the video, they said it would be really easy to stir.....I think the mac and cheese it getting thicker."
Maybe THIS will finally get rid of the hair in my chest!
"bow-chicka-bow-bow!"
John has a craving for prison gruel.
THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Smack & Cheese anyone?
Connie was really bugged out, she watched the video
Hey, how about letting us pick the winner- you know - the democratic way, the most votes the winner? Oh, I forgot, that's an old and broken concept.
I like the original caption best - it has the Far Side cartoon quality to it.
here is my entry though:
Five years in the Foreign Legion prepared Jean-Claude for the grim reality of Mac and Cheese
OK, I'll do a poll on Tuesday. Just to prove once and for all, Democracy doesn't work! Unless I win, then democracy is a great system.
Summoning the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Mac and Cheese... You are doing it wrong!
If I just stir hard enough, the building will stop tilting off the edge of that precarious cliff!
"Ich lieche ver pistich ein mac'n'cheese"
Crazy Bob's Macaroni and Cheese
Ingredients: Macaroni, Cheese, Chest hair and Lithium to taste (optional).
"God, why does it stink?"
Where is my SHIRT!!!!!!
In soviet russia, mac and cheese eats you!
I'M NOT GONNA JUST SIEVE IT!
This was the first and last time Jeff cooked from scratch..
Tension increased when Hairy Potter mashed things up a bit.
I F***ING LOVE MAC AND CHESEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Vigorous stirring is required when blending your victims brains into that innocent looking pot of mac & cheese.
"when it's mac and cheese, stick with cheese."
Dear GOD---cooking Crystal Meth was SO much EASIER!!!!! -cb
"You don't stir Mac and Cheese with a WIRE HANGAR. NO WIRE HANGERS WILL TOUCH THIS FOOD!!"
:-)
Now to add the patch of thatch from my right belly as garnish, and i'm done.
Damn, there's a hair in my mashed potatoes...
"Maybe if I make this sticky enough, I can use it to wax all this pesky chest hair!"
There goes mine:
Because cooking with passion makes food taste better
"Why doesn't this look like it did when Chef John made it on foodwishes.com? What am I doing wrong this time!?!?!"
April :-)
(the real problem, as you can plainly see, is no knives on that door in the background... a real Chef John wannabe would have...)
Xtreme Power Mac-n-cheese! Now with real GLASS!!
This Mac and Cheese'll put hair on your chest even if you only stir it...
I figured this cooking thing isn't nearly as hard as finding a good apron....
Mac and Cheese, they're grrrrrrrrreat
You call this ... Pot of SHOE??!
Submitted by J.T. Rhoe
(If you don't get the pun ..... what are you doing here??!)
'twill be a dark day when I find out who ate the last box of Easy Mac!!
"Kung Fu Naked Chef in action!"
Bob learns that it does make a difference when you shred the cheese rather than cut it.
After botching his third attempt at making a red sauce (shown here), a young Chef John turns to the slimy underbelly of the porn industry under the alias Mr. Sal Ami.
After several years, and many many movies "under his belt", he by chance happens upon a video on the internet of Sir Paul McCartney demonstrating his masterful technique for making mashed potatoes. Inspired, he quits the porn industry to go into the safer, more legal, but yet equally as exploitive world of culinary arts.
FoodWishes fans, as well as porn watchers, have been thankful ever since.
No matter how far he increased the setting on his stun gun, the evil Makachee army was determined to reclaim Bob's kitchen.
What Bob learned was that he should wear a shirt while cooking to prevent food-hair contamination.
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